OOM: Orpheus

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

Once he's in their room, Steve decides to take a shower to calm himself down.

He feels the effects of Orpheus's music all the time, but usually it's the ripples of happiness or desire or affection that wash over him. He'd forgotten -- or put out of his mind -- the downside, the gloom, the loneliness, the despair.

And most of the time, he tries not think about Eurydice. Her story would have no meaning to him beyond what he feels about other tragedies in myths, except that Orpheus loved her and it shapes everything he does, even after all this time.

He knows he shouldn't be jealous of a dead woman, but he is.

He stays in the shower for a long, long time.

Comments

[golden_lyre]

After Steve had left, Orpheus threw himself into his music, determined to get out as much as he could so that when he went to find Steve he might actually be able to speak without having the need to play distracting him.

He's not exactly sober when he comes up to their room, but he isn't stumbling either. He knocks lightly on the door before opening it, just to give Steve some warning that he's there.

"Steve?" he calls faintly as he steps inside.

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

Steve shuts the water off. "Be right out."

[golden_lyre]

Orpheus nods to himself and leans his guitar against the dresser. Moving slowly, he toes off his shoes and shuffles over to the bed, dropping onto it.

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

Steve comes out with a towel wrapped around his waist and water droplets still dotting his body.

"I guess it's too late to say Happy Valentine's Day."

[golden_lyre]

Orpheus glances up at him, regret and longing written all over his face.

"I'm sorry."

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

Steve sits on the edge of the bed and folds his hands together.

"Me too."

[golden_lyre]

He frowns at that, confused. "Why?"

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

"That you still miss her, and when I try to help I just end up making it worse."

[golden_lyre]

"Steve..." He looks away a moment to gather his thoughts.

"I will always miss her. I think...if I didn't...I wouldn't know who I was. Sometimes I miss her less, and you do help with that."

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

"But you'll always love her more than you love me, won't you?" Steve asks painfully. "There'll always be limits on what we can do because you belonged to her first."

[golden_lyre]

And now he looks utterly confused.

"No, it isn't..." He sighs, scrubbing a hand through his hair. "It's not a question of loving more. It's completely different."

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

"From where I'm standing, that's what it feels like."

[golden_lyre]

"What do you think we can't do because of...because of her?"

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

"Dance," Steve says simply. "Celebrate Valentine's Day. Adopt kids. Get married, which I recently found out I can do in New York."

[golden_lyre]

"We danced! And I...Valentine's is tricky. I don't want children. And I...don't know why we would get married."

He's sure Steve has reasons, so he's hesitant to admit as much, but he honestly doesn't see a reason.

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

"Once," Steve says. "We danced once."

He lies back and puts his hand over his eyes.

[golden_lyre]

"You haven't asked since."

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

"You could ask me. Show me it's not traumatic for you anymore and ask me to dance."

[golden_lyre]

"I didn't know you wanted to, Steve. I'm not a mind reader."

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

"And I thought it was traumatic for you and didn't want to ask." He sighs.

[golden_lyre]

Orpheus tentatively reaches over to lay his hand on Steve's thigh. "It's been a very, very long time since I've thought about dancing. It isn't usually in my mind to do so."

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

"I think about it a lot. It seems like relationships start there."

[golden_lyre]

"That's rarely been my experience," Orpheus says. "But I can...try to think about it more."

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

"And will you ask me to dance with you?"

[golden_lyre]

"If I can remember to think about it."