Shadows and Light

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

Steve's sleep is troubled tonight.

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[thekidfrombrooklyn]

Steve chooses seats near the center and sits.

"Our own Captain America and the brave Howling Commands sure have Jerry on the run!"

Steve sits up straighter. The narrator's cheerful delivery has a strangely forced tone--but how--why--

"That's not me," Steve whispers at the sight of the big man gesturing the other Commandos into the fray.

But it is Bucky.

It is Bucky on the screen, in the forests of Germany when he's supposed to be home, in Brooklyn, buying popcorn.

Steve looks down at his hands.

They seem bigger.

[nerves_of_ice]

"It's not your fault."

Bucky turns and looks out of the screen, right at Steve.

"You couldn't help it. You couldn't help me. Don't blame yourself."

Blood's beginning to run down the side of his face, down his left arm, dripping from his fingertips and pooling at his feet.

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

Steve stands.

(In this body, his current body, the big body that still feels like a costume he will someday take off.)

"I failed you. All those times you saved me and when it mattered most I failed you. Of course I blame myself. I always will."

[nerves_of_ice]

"You did what you had to do. So did I."

He doesn't smile and doesn't move, even as the rest of the reel around him fades to white static.

"Finish the mission, Cap."

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

"I don't know what the mission is anymore."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I do."

Bucky raises a pistol from his side and points it at his best friend's face.

"It's you, Steve. It's always been you."



As the shot rings out, the theater goes black.

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

Steve raises the shield just in time, and the bullet pings off the vibranium before he twists away, into the dark.


It's so dark in the forests. Even the moon is hidden. The air smells of evergreen and water--Steve can hear the faint rumble of a river.


There's no familiar presence at his side. No Bucky, no Commandos.

Just his shield.

[nerves_of_ice]

Silence surrounds him.



No, wait.

There's a rustle coming from somewhere up ahead.

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

Steve holds the shield in front of him, straining to hear the source of the rustle.

[nerves_of_ice]

A shadowy figure steps out of the trees and stands still, waiting.

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

Steve faces him.

His heart is racing.


"Who are you? Who's there?"


He expects it to be the Red Skull.

[nerves_of_ice]

No answer.


The figure doesn't move.

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

Steve gets out of the prepared-for-attack stance, and carefully puts down the shield.

"I won't attack first," he says simply.

[nerves_of_ice]

The figure raises a rifle to its shoulder. Something glints in its hand.

CRACK.

The shot whistles past Steve, toward something behind him.

There's a groan, then the sound of a falling body.

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

Steve snatches up the shield, but the figure behind him is already down.

"Who are you?" he demands of the man with the gun.

[nerves_of_ice]

Whoever he is, he doesn't answer.

He steps backward, into the shadow of a tree, and vanishes.

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

"No--wait!" He reaches out but there's nothing but air rushing past his fingers, nothing but wind whistling in his ears.

[nerves_of_ice]

"...Steve?"

He coughs, a harsh choked sound that ends in a wheezing groan. Bucky's lying fallen on the muddy bank of a river, a crumpled heap half in and half out of the water.

"Gotta say ... I'm not feeling too hot, buddy ... "

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

"Bucky--" Steve scrambles to his side, and grasps him under the arms to drag him out of the water. "Hang on, hang on, I'll get you to safety, I swear."

[nerves_of_ice]

He manages a smile.

"'Course you will." He coughs again, a bloody froth bubbling at his lips. "Never doubted it for a second."

But there's a growing stain spreading over the wound in his gut, and his body's so heavy, getting heavier by the second.

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

He's heavy, so heavy, as is Steve had no strength in his arms, as if something greater than Steve is pulling Bucky deeper into the river. Steve tugs on Bucky, nearly weeping in desperation.

[nerves_of_ice]

"We--"

His breath is a mere susurrus, his voice a bare whisper.

"-- had him on the ropes, Steve. Had him on the --"

He slips from Steve's grasping fingers and sinks into the depths, the black water closing over him with only a ripple to mark his passing.

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

"No, no--"

He dives into the water, but there's nothing to see in its depths no matter how deep Steve swims--only a tightening grip on his lungs until it feels like His head is going to explode from lack of air.

He hauls himself to the surface, to the shore, and collapses on the mud.

He's so cold. He doesn't think he'll ever get warm.

[golden_lyre]

Orpheus tends to sleep fairly deeply, especially when Steve is home. He can't, though, ignore the noises coming from Steve or the way he seems to be shivering from cold, even though they both prefer to keep the apartment plenty warm.

He shifts in his sleep, still groggy when he touches Steve's shoulder carefully. "Steve? Lovely?"

[thekidfrombrooklyn]

Steve jerks and gasps, "Bucky?" as his eyes snap open.

He sees Orpheus and lays a hand heavily on his face. "Orpheus. Sorry. Sorry."